'Imala sam pobačaj': Stranica na kojoj žene dijele svoju bol

Kad je pretrpjela pobačaj u 16. tjednu trudnoće, Jessica Zucker odlučila je otvoriti Instagram profil pod imenom 'I had a Miscarriage' (u prijevodu: 'Imala sam pobačaj'), na kojem žene diljem svijeta mogu podijeliti svoje priče i na taj način pomoći sebi drugim ženama koje su pretrpjele gubitak djeteta. 

Možda te zanima... 14 stvari koje znaju mame koje su imale spontani pobačaj Trudnoća

 

# IHadAMiscarriage I had a 2nd trimester miscarriage. This is a fact of my life. An experience that changed who I am. Pregnancy after pregnancy loss changed me all the more. I have no shame. No self-blame. No guilt. I did nothing wrong. I did nothing to deserve this. My body works. I don't feel it failed. I embrace my grief fully and allow it to wash over me. I grieve still. I don't believe rainbow babies "replace" our lost loves. When we lean into heartache, we evolve. When we work vigorously to stave it off, we drown. I don't believe everything happens for a reason. I know I am not alone, nor are you. _ This campaign is here for anyone who has experienced any type of pregnancy or infant loss. We are here to share stories with the aim of softening stigma and ushering in connection. Let this space be a life line. An anchor. A community. _ What an elating honor it is to have my work and specifically this page featured on @selfmagazine today. Link in profile. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #stillbirth #infantloss #motherhood #grief #loss #parenthood #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby #1in4 // This sign accompanied the birth of the I Had A Miscarriage campaign in 2014. Lettering by @annerobincallig.

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on Jul 20, 2017 at 3:11pm PDT

Jessica radi kao psihologinja specijalizirana za reproduktivno zdravlje žena i često je liječila žene koje su imale pobačaj, no govori kako nikad nije u potpunosti razumjela stigmu pobačaja i gubitak djeteta dok ga i sama nije proživjela: "Vratila sam se kući i jednostavno više nisam bila trudna. To je bila apsolutno najtraumatičnija stvar koja mi se dogodila u životu", rekla je Jessica i dodala kako je otvorila Instagram profil u nadi da će pomoći drugim mamama i dati im do znanja da nisu same u svojem žalovanju. 

 

No Mother By Jessica Costanzo @hitch160. Stories from around the world. Posted with permission. _ No mother should learn at 16 weeks pregnant that the child she is carrying has a fatal condition. No mother should have to decide if she carry her terminally ill child to term or end her pregnancy. No mother should have to explain to their 2.5 year old son that his baby brother has died. No mother should have her milk come in when she has no child to feed. _ No mother should find out at the 8 week ultrasound for her next pregnancy that her baby has passed away. No mother should bleed for over a week as that child leaves her body. No mother should see in a 12 week ultrasound that yet another baby that has passed away - a baby that was moving a week before is now still and has no heartbeat. No mother should birth that baby stillborn at home and literally see the glimmer of what could have been. _ No father should lose his child and then watch in fear as his wife bleeds excessively and is rushed to the ER for emergency surgery. _ No mother should experience any of these things, yet I have experienced them all. _ About 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage yet the experiences are rarely talked about. I write about my experiences so other mothers know they are not alone. No mother should face such pain in isolation. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #pregnancyloss #grief #loss #motherhood #stillbirth #1in4 #miscarriage // Image found via @taxcollection.

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on May 12, 2017 at 6:56pm PDT

Možda te zanima... Kako preboljeti gubitak bebe nakon spontanog pobačaja? Trudnoća

"S time što podijelimo svoju priču s drugima, dobivamo osjećaj pripadnosti i identifikacije. Ne poznajemo jedna drugu jer se radi o društvenoj mreži, ali poznajemo ove osjećaje. U toliko komentara i poruka, žene govore: 'Ovo kao da sam ja pisala.' Jedan lijepi dio svega je zasigurno i shvaćanje da smo puno više slične nego što mislimo."

 

@moonsproutmama shares: "I cherished every second, counted every day, tracked every week with this little one, but our time together was short + bittersweet. _ There were weeks of blood testing. My hormones were simply "too low". We were just dealt the most casual, but lethal blow. There would be no other explanation or condolences... _ I was in disbelief + filled with resentment. This wasn't really happening. How could this happen? I bled for days. What could I have done differently? Was it my stress level? The CONSTANT (3rd party) dramatics? My lack of eating + sleeping? The blame game. Our life was upside down at the time. It could have been any one, if not the combination of all those factors. _ We were blessed soon after with our son, but I chose to keep this pregnancy + our loss private. How can one truly convey such joy while it's laced with grief + fear? I clung to my growing baby's well being everyday during those precious months. Always dreading the what ifs even right up until the moment he was placed in my arms. _ I lost this baby a year ago. It's finally come full circle, but the healing has seemingly just begun. I'm sharing this to kill the stigma. To do away with the anxiety that creeps in daily. To silence the what ifs that continue to haunt me. I'm sharing this to end the self blame + shame. We are 1 in 4. _ I am ready. ✨" _ #IHadAMiscarriage

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on Apr 6, 2017 at 1:19pm PDT

Prema istraživanju, otprilike 10-15 posto trudnoća (kojih su žene svjesne) završi pobačajem. Većina pobačaja događa se u prvom tromjesečju trudnoće, ali do 5 posto dogodi se u drugom tromjesečju. Pobačaj je uglavnom uzrokovan kromosomskim nepravilnostima i u većinu slučajeva je potpuno izvan majčine kontrole. 

Možda te zanima... Kako se osjećaju mame anđela? Trudnoća

 

How can the late afternoon summer breeze remind me of you when we never even had a chance to experience a moment together, let alone a season? _ You are loved like nobody's business, Olive. Ongoing, I feel you. Ongoing, you change me. You are cherished, ongoing. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #miscarriage #motherhood #pregnancyloss #stillbirth #infantloss #grief #loss #1in4 // Photo found via @girlgazeproject.

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on Jul 17, 2017 at 4:23pm PDT

Bez obzira koliko žena pretrpi pobačaj, većina njih osjeća neopisivu tugu, sram, samoću i osjećaj krivnje. Jessica govori kako se nada da će ovaj profil i hashtag #IHadAMiscarriage omogućiti ženama mjesto na kojem se mogu lakše nositi sa svojim osjećajima i proširiti svjesnost o pobačaju kao i priče koje stoje iza njega. 

 

Dreams by @warmteaandcookies. Stories from around the world (NYC). Posted with permission. _ Before this gem made her entrance into the world I was pregnant once before. We lost the baby a few months in but while I was pregnant I had dreams with a little girl that looked just like my daughter looks in this picture. When I had the miscarriage, I longed to meet that little girl in my dreams. Shortly after the miscarriage I even dreamt of her and I on a beach. I was singing to her and she was laughing. The same exact laugh as my daughter. I spent those six months longing to meet that little girl in my dreams. When I found out I was pregnant we opted not to find out the sex, but I knew it was the little girl in my dreams that was on her way back to me. Dreams can be a gateway to your reality at times, you just need to pay attention. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #rainbowbaby

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on Dec 14, 2016 at 8:20pm PST

Možda te zanima... Moja mama izgubila je prvu bebu i borila se da ja dođem na svijet Roditelji