Simon Hooper prikazuje realističnu i duhovitu perspektivu roditeljstva. Na Instagramu dokumentira svakodnevicu s svoje četiri kćeri, koje svojim pothvatima 'oduševljavaju' njega i njegove pratitelje
Simon Hooper, otac četiri djevojčice postao je hit na Instagramu objavljujući fotografije svojih uspona i padova u roditeljstvu. Na profilu pod imenom 'Father of Daughters' ima gotovo milijun pratitelja i za razliku od drugih roditelja koji na svojim profilima objavljuju 'savršene' fotografije života s djecom, Simon prikazuje realističnu i duhovitu perspektivu roditeljstva.
Ispod fotografija nalaze se opisi kojima nasmijava svoje pratitelje.
No, this is not a background extra milking their scene in some low budget B movie horror film. It's the moment when I was getting headshots taken for my book & Ottie decided she absolutely positively couldn't give me a moment to myself - transforming my moment, very much into her moment. Clemmie scooped her up seconds later & I can laugh at this now but it does remind me just how hard it can be to achieve the simplest of tasks when a wailing child is within close promixity - thanks @philippajames for catching the memory & exposing the realities behind the image you see in the book! (Click on the link in my bio to get a copy) #backgroundscenegrabber #stealingmymoment #zombietoddler #theimagebehindtheimage #parenthoodinapicture #foreveroutnumbered #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #fod #instadad
"Ovo nije scena iz niskobudžetnog horor filma. Ovo je trenutak kada sam se fotografirao za svoju knjigu, a moja kći Ottie nije mi htjela pokloniti niti taj trenutak. Supruga Clemmie uzela ju je k sebi nakon nekoliko sekundi. Ovo podsjeća kako je teško obaviti najjednostavnije zadatke kada je uplakano dijete u blizini", napisao je Simon u opisu fotografije.
Ottie & Delilah still confuse the hell out of me but I'm starting to see differences. They could be mistaken for a narcissistic toddler starring in the mirror, yet they're obviously wired differently when it comes to tackling everyday problems that 18mth olds face. Much like a team building exercise at work that no one really a cares about (apart from Phil in finance) this morning the twins tackled the age old conundrum since bowls were invented - "How do I drink the milk at the bottom of the sodding bowl if the bowl's stuck to the table?" Ottie opted for the traditional 'spoon the milk on the table & face plant in it' - standard. Delilah thought outside the box & employed brute strength to overcome the gravity of the entire planet & poured the bowl, tray still attached, down her gullet. Somedays I struggle to express in words just how proud I am of these 2. #1problem2solutions #futurecrystalmazecontestants #nopointinclothesatbreakfast #philinfinanceisageek #breakfast #feedingtime #parenting #problemsolvers #twins #fod #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad
"Jutros su moje blizanke Ottie i Delilah pokušavale popiti mlijeko koje se nalazi u zdjeli na stolu. Ottie je izabrala 'tradicionalan' način. Prolila je mlijeko po stolu i u to zabila lice. Delilah je razmišljala izvan okvira i upotrijebila snagu da prevlada gravitaciju tako što je podigla pričvršćeni pladanj zajedno za zdjelom i počela piti mlijeko", napisao je otac.
Did anyone else get the memo to inform all parents that its international opposites day today? No? Me neither but Apparently all children have been informed it's totally ok to do the exact opposite of what all overbearing full grown humans tell them to do. Case in point - this evening's Bathtime - I said "please stop splashing! mummy will kill me when I forget to tidy this up later". What they heard was "please go ahead & start up a toddler induced wave machine the scale of which could be used to test war ships, soak the floor & then flail about like a confined depressed killer whale which will eventually eat it's trainer". Turns out it's fine though as the water has now drained through the cracks in the floor boards & has seeped through the ceiling downstairs. This only even happens when I'm in charge on my own. Coincidence? #bathtimetusnami #theyremakingmelookbad #ineedflooddefences #imadeadman #thewaterisnowdownstairs #Fatherofdaughters #fod #dadlife #instadad
"Je li još netko dobio dopis koji obavještava roditelje da je danas Međunarodni dan suprotnosti? Ne? Nisam ni ja, ali izgleda da su djeca obaviještena da je potpuno u redu raditi upravo suprotno od onoga što im kažu roditelji. Za vrijeme večernjeg kupanja rekao sam: 'Molim vas prestanite prskati. Mama će me ubiti ako to kasnije zaboravim počistiti'. Ono što su one čule bilo je: 'Samo naprijed i pokrenite mašinu za pokretanje valova na kojima se mogu testirati ratni brodovi, natopiti pod i koprcati se kao zatvoren depresivni kit koji će na kraju pojesti svog trenera''. Ispostavilo se da je sve u redu iako je voda procurila kroz pukotine na podu i probila strop. Ovo se događa samo kada sam ja zadužen za red. Slučajnost", stoji u opisu fotografije 'veselog kupanja'.
Dads change nappies too: Apart from the ballsy women with bladders apparently the size of a old pea that barge into mens toilets to avoid the queue of cross-legged females snaking around the building, many ladies probably have no idea what goes on in the room marked 'Gentlemen'. Well here's the secret - it's usually a lot of guys peeing into urinals trying to overcome stage fright, a couple of blocked toilets, a few broken taps, a floor that's like walking on glue and occasionally a guy struggling to change their kids nappy - jacket laid on the toilet seat, on his knees in a cubicle, keeping the broken door shut with his arse. Why? Because, believe it or not, in 2019 many men's toilets still don't have changing tables. That means we either rough it in the men's, use the disable one go alfresco (behind a tree / down an alley) or pass responsibilities to the ladies in our lives. This needs to change. And I'm not just talking about the nappy. Any dad's out there with horror stories to share? Is your country better than the UK? I want to get legislation changed so can do what has to be done in relative comfort and hygiene! #changelegislationnotjustnappies #wetknees #dadschangetoo #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod
"Tate također mijenjaju pelene. Osim što poneke žene upadaju u muški WC kako bi izbjegle red u ženskom, mnoge od njih vjerojatno nemaju pojma što se događa iza zatvorenih vrata. Evo tajne - obično je mnogo tipova koji pišaju u pisoare, nekoliko zatvorenih kabina, nekoliko slomljenih pipa, pod koji je ljepljiv i tu i tamo neki tip koji pokušava promijeniti pelenu djetetu. Jakna položena na WC- školjku, koljena koja pridržavaju vrata koja se ne mogu zatvoriti. Zašto? Zato što vjerovali ili ne, 2019. godina je i mnogo muških zahoda još uvijek nema stol za presvlačenje. To se mora promijeniti. Je li vaša zemlja bolja od Velike Britanije? Ovakve stvari želim činiti u relativnoj udobnosti i higijeni", poručio je.
1. Igra djevojčica na krevetiću
Conventional wisdom tells us that the passage of time through space happens at a constant rate forwards, but when you have children, that changes. I can only conclude that there's a rip in the space time continuum right above the girls bedroom as time just vanished this evening, leaving me feeling like I'd be screwed hard by a flux capacitor with anger management issues. One moment it's 6.30pm & I'm rounding them up for a bath, then I blinked & it was 8.15pm the world had fallen apart. Bath time - a tsunami nightmare that would have drowned the entire cast of 'honey I shrunk the kids'. Teeth - a stand off that ended in toothpaste in the eyes. Story time - A jackanory balls up that left me questioning my life choices. Bed time - a yoga session for hyperactive chipmunks that ended with Ottie hiding for 15 minutes in silence & me shouting down the street in the dark because I thought she'd gone (only to be found eating a chocolate egg under Anya's desk covered in a blanket). Of course, as I'd focused all my energy on these 2, the elder ones hadnt even had dinner! It may have only been a total of 1hr 45 minutes but I've aged several years on the process. I'm stongly considering calling Doc Brown to take be back to 2015 so I can get a vasectomy. #doctakemebacktogetavasectomy #ihatetuesday #screwedbyyimetravel #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod
2. Čitanje slikovnica prije spavanja nekima je posebno zabavno
To celebrate world book day & to forget the pressures of making costumes, last minute random internet purchases & late nights covered in glue & sweat and smell of self loathing for agreeing to a overally complex costume, today I sat on a panel hosted by @wonderbly to discuss the actual purpose of the day - getting our kids interested in reading. I'm not gonna lie, reading with these 2 can be a battle of patience and perseverance. Questions. So many questions. 1 page forward, 2 pages back. Pauses to let them finish the sentences. Interruptions. So why do we bother? The answer - because reading opens your imagination. It broadens your perspectives & can transport you across the universe in the time it takes you to read a word. Because reading prompts questions & provides answers. Because reading let's you spend time with your kids & do stupid voices. So how did world book Day go for you & what's your favourite bedtime story? #ad #bedtimestories #dothe voices #fatherofdaughters #wonderbly #dadlife #instadad #fod
3. Evo što se dogodi kada djeca ne žele odjenuti jaknu:
I'll forgive you for thinking this was either a really low grade game of hide and seek or the very sad annual meeting between the only 2 members of the 'National Pavement Appreciation Society', but in fact it was a result of stubborn child not wanting to put a coat on in weather so cold it would have had snowmen reaching for the heated blanket. This horizontal protest was heading no where fast until @mother_of_daughters employed the old tried & tested 'I'll just lie next to this apoplectic child silently and see what happens' technique and sure enough, Ottie's brain overloaded at the sight of an adult on the floor, rebooted into recovery mode and she quickly dusted herself off and rode off into the sun. She still didn't have a coat on, but you take a win where you can in these situations. #theyjustlovepavements #cantbeatthemjointhem #horizontalprotest #imnotcold #fatherofsaughters #parentingwin #dadlife #instadad #fod
4. I vješanje rublja može biti zabavno.
Sometimes when I'm down about my babies not being babies anymore, I just look at this picture, smile and think about this day, 2 & half years ago. Having become increasingly frustrated that all my clothes were getting dyed a shade of pink that farrow and ball would no doubt name 'whispering vagina', I decided to take control & combined house work with Childcare. Don't worry, I'm not a monster, I just put them on a low speed spin setting and went easy on the fabric conditioner. The tumble dryer was a step too far so hanging them out to drip dry seemed the next best option. for future reference, children take about 3 hours to dry on the line. Now look again - bet you didn't see the one in the basket! #shesinthebasket #nobathtonight #hangthemouttodry #whisperingvagina #lifeadmin #fatherofdaughters #twins #dadlife #fod #instadad
5. Ovako se zabavlja kad mame nema kod kuće
Much like Bear Grylls, when the parenting team is cut by 50% for any period of time, you're allowed to do things you wouldn't normal do in order to survive (just with less drinking of my own urine). @mother_of_daughters has been away for 3 days now & although I haven't drastically changed the rules or deliberately sabotaged the routine that's taken longer to construct than the Sagrada Família, I may have created some subsidence in the foundations. It's now ok to get dressed in the play room while eating breakfast. Clothes can be worn for 3 days in a row if desired because it's not worth the argument. Scatter cushions are banished to the floor as they are a complete waste time (especially on the bed), the twins will now only get out of the bath if carried simultaneously like sacks of old potatoes while I whistle the theme tune to block busters (I have literally no idea where that one came from) & bedtime happens when I can get children to stop hiding & lie down. Oh & as a special surprise, the twins will now only refer to their mother as 'Clemmie' because I trained them to - ok, that change was just for my own entertainment. #dadrules #changeisgood #doittosurvive #unlessitsbad #welcomehomeclemmie #twins #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod
6. Djecu možete povesti i na festival
I always wonder how toddlers view festivals as it's such a break from normal life. They see a lot of adults stand in a field usually reserved for farm animals & watch them slowly regress to being teenagers again, shouting "I love this tune!" Or "who's this band - I've never heard of them", while embarrasing their families by dancing as if their limbs were independently controlled by an invisible puppet master. They're treated to a muffled audio experience of the world through neon ear defenders while observing other children run around, seemingly free of supervision (although infact mum & dad are taking turns to have 'eyes on' & make sure they don't stray too far), fuelled by a day long course of glucose supplied by parents wanting an arguement free afternoon. Their nappies get changed under open skies & sleep covered in coats, only to wake and find they are still in same field, but the sun's gone to bed, everyone's covered in glitter & daddy is sporting a childs tutu. It must be a very confusing sensory overload, but they seem to love it & a break from norm is something we all need now & again #festivalfashion #throughtheeyesofatoddler #breakfromthenorm #whosthatonstage #onemoretune #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #twins